WM... I think it's great that you have been able to figure out what you need from W to make the sexual expereince more complete. My H and I are working on communication, but I still find myself in a position of trying to figure out what he needs from me. There were times he had trouble " finishing" but we didn't talk about it; I brought it up once and he replied that it didn't matter to him, that he just enjoyed being with me, etc. but it bothered me. I am sure he did mind but didn't want to deal with it.
Anyway, I have figured out that when I put more of myself into things at the end, and he can feel my love, he's a goner. But the cool thing is that because he needs this, it actually enhances the experience for me! It's like we create a safer, warmer interaction than would have been the case without this extra piece.
My point is, by coming forward with what you want, you may in fact be bringing something to the mix for the two of you to enjoy. Communication is such a good thing.
