Hey Web, I second what MrsNOP said. I once nominated her for President so you should know that you are getting some good advice.
My only contribution to your conundrum is to, when you finally bring this up with your wife, speak in clear language. Yes, the stuff that will make her blush and pooh-pooh the conversation and try to rush its conclusion. Do not get caught up in analogies. They will not help your case. She will get lost in the conversation, just as you would if she were talking in code about you doing the dishes more frequently.
Analogy was useful for us, and still is, when trying to convey concepts to him...as in how it feels to be HD, etc.. but not useful when talking about the specific actions I wanted him to take. We'd be talking and he'd say, So I'm the steak and you're the A-1? Or I'm the A-1 and you're the steak? and I knew I'd lost him. LOL
I think the best thing to do is to say to her that your enjoyment vanishes once you get wind of the "I'm finished and bored" attitude from her. Ask for what you want--I'd like to know that you are as enthusiastic about my finish as I am about yours and it would help me if we could incorporate xyz into it, during the times when you finish first. I realize that you are okay with not finishing but I'm not.
Then you ask for a handjob to finish, or more lube, or kissing, or whatever it is that would help.
Understand that she may or may not be agreeable to these suggestions. But do give her the info she needs to make an informed decision. Don't say something vague like, Will you help me when I'm having trouble? and then get mad at her when she does the same old thing. You will have to ask for what you want and be prepared for whatever answer you get.
Good luck and I know it stinks to have to talk shop graphically. It does get easier.
