Quote: I am not asking her to adopt that perspective as her own, only to understand that is my perspective and how I am.
That is reasonable but I still don't see how her having that understanding is going to help you to have an orgasm. When you say you want her to understand is, what you really mean, that you want her to act in a way during love making that makes it more pleasurable for you so that you can more easily orgasm? If so, then it's not only understanding you want but a change in behavior also. Again, I don't think that is unreasonable but you might want to go at it from the mechanics side instead of the feelings side. You can't change the way she feels during the act but you might can impress upon her that there are certain things you would like for her to do during the act. Know what I mean?
Quote: How do you get the idea that my wife is so into the lovemaking when she's making comments like, "Don't wait for me tonight." And "Tonight's just for you." Wouldn't you agree that those statements are a far cry different from. "I've just gotta jump your bone tonight." Or even, "I can't wait for us to ML tonight"?
My perspective on what she says is different from yours. Maybe because I'm a woman and can understand better where she is coming from. I've said those very words myself when I knew that I was not going to have an orgasm. In my mind I was letting him off the hook of having to work so hard to please me and to focus on himself and his own enjoyment. I don't orgasm every time I have sex, in fact I rarely orgasm during sex. I love the act of sex but never wanted my husband killing himself over something I knew was not going to happen. I would rather he kill himself, go hog wild over what was going to happen for him. I was pretty lucky though cause when we did have sex it wasn't about the orgasm for either one of us, more the coupling and being together.
Those statements are a far cry from "I just gotta jump your bones." They are not indicative of a lack of desire to be with you though. They indicate, in my opinion, a desire for you to orgasm even if she knows you can't. That is very loving in my opinion.
If you have it twisted up someway in your head and feel as if you are making love to a lump in the mattress instead of a woman who loves you then that is something for you to work on. Whether you orgasm or not is controlled by your brain and what runs through your head at the time. Cathy
