In my R the importance of "popping" or having an orgasm while ML is viewed with different levels of importance between my LDW and me. It has taken me quite a while to understand this fully, but now that I can see how my LDW doesn't understand my POV, I do understand much better what her POV actually is.
For years now, while ML she would make comments like, "Don't wait for me." Or "Tonight's just for you." I wouldn't or couldn't understand. Don't wait for you? Tonight's not about us, just about me? I do not comprehend. ML is about physical touch and intimacy and foreplay and afterplay and so on; but without popping, it is all of the other parts of ML EXCEPT for the real deal, or so I thought.
Recently, I've had some problems finishing the act, or popping. It doesn't faze her a bit. I would think that she would be just as devastated for me as I felt for myself. But no, it just hasn't really seemed to faze her at all.
Well. I thought about this quite deeply and it finally clicked for me. All the while she was telling me, "Don't wait for me." Or, "Tonight's just for you," she was stating her true perspective on popping while engaged in ML, which is something akin to, "While popping is nice, it doesn't have to happen for the sex to be rewarding."
So here’s the dilemma: When she doesn’t pop, I feel like I’ve let her down big time, and her words are just words (at least up until very recently) yet she actually feels like it’s no biggie. But when I don’t pop, to her it’s no big deal; life goes on, no great shockwaves or anything. But I’m going out of my mind!!!
So there’s the sitch. Now, how do I explain the differences in the importance that we each place on popping while ML to my LDW? Remember from a previous post of mine that she doesn’t really like to talk about sex and also, I’ve learned here from other posts to only reveal little bits and pieces of my sexuality to her at one time.
