Quote: Yes, the C had us do this, but very briefly, and, until now, I swear I always thought I was the one mis-speaking, mis-hearing.
It's the "if something went wrong I must have been responsible for it".
Rethink this throughout the rest of your relationship.
If you discover that you are invariably the one who apologizes, retreats, is in the dog house, on the other side, always wrong - then unless you really are the biggest a$$h*le in the world - rethink the positions you are automatically taking, or to which you allow yourself to be assigned.
I think less agressive people who don't have an interest in controlling the relationship, controlling their spouse, being right all the time, forcing their preferences on others, etc. are at a distinct disadvantage when dealing with a spouse who *does* have these attributes.
When you're capable of accepting that you could err, could get it wrong, might have not been clear, might not have understood - you're a one-legged man in a butt-kicking context when you're dealing with a spouse that comes from an opposing place. Because you are usually open to the possibility that you're getting it wrong, doing it wrong. Match that type up with the type of personality that is seldom if ever open to the possibility that they could err, the spouse who can accept that they make mistakes will be the spouse constantly accepting the responsibility/blame.
In many relationships there is a give and take. An equality between partners where each acquieces to the other at times. If nothing ever acquieces your way - YOUR NOT ALWAYS THE ONE AT FAULT.
That just means that you keep it in the forefront of your mind, that you are not *automatically* wrong. It will help remove some of the confusion you experience because you check out of the current conversation and start trying to calculate how you went wrong, where it went wrong, you never meant it to sound this way, etc.
