Mr.Pot misunderstands what I'm saying frequently. And as you said, I can iterate and reiterate the exact words I used and he will continue to think I'm saying something else. I used to think he was doing it on purpose but I don't think that any longer. I think two things: First of all, we are so different in certain aspects that he just cannot see things from my perspective. This is not limited to conversations--sometimes we can read articles and get two totally different things from it. "He was saying this" "No NO, he was saying this" The other thing is that when our convos get heated there is a good bit--on both sides--of us assuming that the other person is speaking to us in a negative way. So every word is interpreted in the worst way possible.
Last night we were discussing our frequency and he finally said, I hate it when you talk mean to me! I said, H!! What have I said that was mean? What are you talking about? After a minute he said, Well I guess nothing but you USED to get mean when we'd have this discussion. I said, Yes I did and I'm sorry for that but I'm not doing that now.
And the whole dynamic of the discussion changed right then.
I think you did good in writing down the exact words and going over their meaning. Too often, our real meaning is lost to each other. That is a good exercise.
When we took our pre-marriage classes we got a D minus on the Communication portion. At the time we thought it was hilarious. About a year ago, MrPot found that test and we got it out and looked at it. Hairy, we weren't laughing this time when we saw that giant D Minus. It's been the source of much pain since that time and we aint nearly as bulletproof as we felt during our engagement.
