It certainly does sound like this is more a control issue than a sex one. If Mrs.HD is willing to cede control in other areas, maybe she will see that the world is not going to end, that in fact letting go can be liberating. It could be an inroad unexplored up until now. Just a thought.
I don't mind the sun sometime
The images it shows
I can taste you on my lips
And smell you in my clothes
Cinnamon and Sugar
And softly spoken lies
You never know just how you look
Through someone elses eyes
BHS-"Pepper"