As I see it you have two choices if you stay married for your childrens sake.
Keep compromising until you have compromised yourself out of who you are and you no longer recognize or like yourself. And still live a lonely sexless married life into old age.
Stop compromising and pampering the W. Become more focused on yourself and your children and friends. Have a chance to hang on to your self respect maybe not be so lonely for a few years but still live in a sexless marriage.
Either way your left hand becomes your spouse and best friend. Either way you still have lost parts of yourself and your wants and needs. Why would you want to do this? You are smart and God are you funny and hmm cannot tell but you maybe good looking.
Your kids. Yeah they will grow up and develope there own lifes. Sooner or later they will have issues divorced or not there perception of you and your marriage will have some inpact on those issues. But your childrens perceptions and issues will come no matter what your life path is stay or go. Say for example your D grows up gets married and loves her H but is not outwardly affectionate towards him.This grows into a issue for them. Yes she maybe able to say that growing up she did not see hand holding and hugging and kissing between her parents so she did not know that this is a part of a normal relationship. Or say your D grows up gets married and gets a divorce later she can say well my parents did it so it is normal to give up.
Either way you and your wife and your R and your childrens issues collide to some degree but your R and choices within it are not responsible for the outcome of your childrens R and issues more then that a degree. Children do not tend to live there whole life by just one example. No more then you did.
So probabley not well stated but the point. Find another reason to stay married in the end your children will grow up have there own lifes and you will be where? Oh yeah old loney and sexless.
Unconditional love well you are unhappy and your unsatisfied in your R but you still love your W. And I think that whether you decide to stay or go you will still love her. what is more unconditional then that?
I think and maybe I am wrong that tomorrow in your one on one you really need to speak in depth to the C about your growing frustration about this issue and the despondency it is causing you within life. And that you feel you are being forced into a position where you feel you have to decide. And that you fear the pressure of the frustration and the situation may make you make the wrong choice. But you are at a crossroad and something has to happen. You are willing to walk half the way. Which I see as already done and saying I will walk half of her way but you would atleast like a drink of water before you continue the journey. Would it not be nice if for once a C could actually say well from were I sit and what I see and my experience as a C this is what I think should happen instead of saying. So what do you think and what do you think should happen and why do you think this.I always want to scream at them well if I knew that I would not be here I would be basking in the sun in Hawaii on the money I have given you! A answer a simple knowledged based answer would be nice once in a while to make us all feel our money is well spent. Sorry for the rant!
Let me ask you this. If you declare unconditional love to her the kind she wants no sex no pressure and what ever else she views as unconditional love. And you stay with her and say 6 months from now you have a PA(not loving just sexual takes nothing from your unconditional love for her) is her love so unconditional that she will say thats fine I accept it no problem? Or does her love contain the condition you remain faithful.If so that is hyprocrispy.(a big issue for me gonna leave that alone)
My point don't stay married for the childrens sake. If you choose to stay married do it for your sake. Point out to your wife that unconditional love you already give her and will continue to give her because you do love her and always will no matter what. But you can love her from another state just as unconditionally as you do from your home. And your ability to give her unconditional love may rely on her ability to give it to you also. What is that saying do on to others?
Sorry long sorry blunt in places. But seeing you as giving up on yourself in that last post and not really knowing you but feeling that would be a great loose to society you seem like a really wonderful person. If I happen across your wife on my side of the fence I may not be able to resist giving her a thump on the head
