Hairdog, Even parents unconditional love for their children does not equate to "You can do whatever you want and I will be here with open arms and a smile".
If my D5 decides to be a bank robber when she grows up, I will be sure to let her know that my personal boundaries will not allow me to condone this lifestyle and that I will not be an accomplice in any way, shape or form to the choices she makes. I will still love her. My heart will ache for her and I will long for the day when she turns her life around.
But I will NOT say, D I accept you the way you are and though your choices do not reflect what the experts say will bring happiness, I stand by you and applaud your sense of individuality.
I would, however, let her know how much I love her and always will.
What your wife seems to want is acceptance of the person she is. She wants to say, Hairy I only want to ML twice per year and have you be okay with that. Which I'm sure you would be if she were a colleague or your sister. But she is your wife and she is taking you along for the ride.
I think there is a way to say, Wife I accept that you don't feel the urge to ML except for a few times a year. The follow up to that sentence, though, is a silent but insistent "but I assume that you will take my needs into consideration anyway because that's what happens in loving relationships."
Well, the babe is crying but what I wanted to say is that all of this shiit about unconditional love is yet another smokescreen. Keep chipping away at it; good luck at the session tomorrow.
