RE: HD she may still do what she's done in the past with similar declarations of mine and say "you don't really mean that in your heart" because she thinks she knows me better than I know myself.
I see you have this situation too.It make it difficult when you state your feelings to have someone else say "you don't feel that way, you really feel this other way."
It sounds like your C has to help her learn to take what you tell your W for what is said rather than what your W invents.
There is little progress to be made when the other spouse uses a different dictionary and places their interpretation on words.
But realistically, my options are leaving, or staying and continuing the conflict. HD you can also try a controlled seperation. From reading other threads on other forums, the seperation wakes some people up if it is done carefully. It's one of those "You don't miss the water until the well runs dry" things.
