The next C appt. is Wednesday, and I think I'm going by myself because W had some other thing going on. I have a lot to talk about with her, so whether I go with or without W, it should be helpful. I'll be sure to bring the solution focus up, as well as the issue of unconditional love vs. feeling as if she's being graded.
I also agree that some compromise is in order. I have felt, however, that at least on the physical affection issue, it is always me who has compromised. I'd love to have a schedule, but, well, we'll leave it at that. I refuse to predict her reaction to it.
Lillie: I knew you had read this book! It's a section called the "myth of romantic love" I think. And yes, HP, we could get into a "book war." But I won't.
How do I keep loving her in spite of the years of physical neglect, and her jabs, and her discounting my wants and feelings? I can't answer that. In the middle of a fight, when she is calling me horrible names, and saying horrible things, I can't imagine ever loving her past, present, or future. But then, days, or sometimes hours later, when we have reached an understanding, or some sort of truce, I feel the love again. We laugh, or we start playing with our daughter, or start talking about something we heard on the radio, and I see the woman I met so many years ago with whom I fell in love.
