Here's where we are: She wants me to commit to unconditional love for her (because my condition of having a physical relationship or I'm out is keeping her from feeling physical), and I feel I have done this in the past, yet she has said I'm not "really" committing because she "knows" I'm not doing it from my heart, and the weeks go by with little affection, and no ML. So I'm reluctant to ride that train again.
I don't know if I can feel this commitment in my heart, as I look to my future and see the very real possibility of going through a lifetime feeling unloved by her. And I have told her this. She says that it's a matter of trust.
She has also pulled out the "The Road Less Traveled" by Scott Peck, and its chapter about the myth of romantic love, the transitory "high" of orgasm and how it fools us into believing that we love someone by breaking down ego boundaries for a second or two, and that real love comes from giving and sharing and thus breaking through those ego boundaries over time.
Yeah, right.
I understand what Peck is saying, but does that mean I'm evil or immature or unenlightened just because I want my wife to make love to me?
Anyone read that book who can recall that chapter and maybe put it into context in the SSM situation? Are all of us HD spouses just being immature and seeking some sort of endorphin rush and fooling ourselves it represents trust and sharing and LOVE? Or are we all just a bunch of hedonists who need an outlet for our animal desires?
