It sux being an HDW, that's for sure. I've heard some people, irl, say "Oh it's just as hard being an LDW and have to deal with the constant groping, etc" but I always thought, No it's not just as bad.
Anyway, fwiw, I don't think your friend's husband could possibly be that LD. There is no such creature as a man who doesn't have a sex drive at all, and never cares if he even comes. I would haul his azz to the sex therapist asap and see what's up. It's possible that he mb's too much and has become desensitized to anything but his own special brand of handling it. Or he could have a porn problem and be at the point that only hardcore stuff can elicit the desired response. Whatever. I think she should keep pressing and insisting on counseling, if necessary.
Sex therapists will say that, while LD men do exist and in greater numbers than previously thought, they are NOT sexless. That is, an LD woman may a "low drive" and not be in the mood for sex and she also does not masturbate. An LD man will still masturbate while turning down sex with his partner. IOW, I simply do not believe that her husband just has no sex drive and doesn't want to O. I believe that he is channeling whatever sex drive he has (and it is probably lower than hers, don't get me wrong) towards some solitary activity.
So the way I see it is that your friend has two problems: Number one, her husband's drive is lower than hers and they will have to negotiate the answer to this problem. Number two, he is currently avoiding all sexual release with her and taking care of himself.
Good luck to her and thank you for taking the time to write that out! That was sweet and I appreciate the sentiment.
