I asked for a divorce

[doctorcue]

I haven't filed just yet for divorce, but I do intend to. I (28 years old) really am not doing this to get the attention of my wife (26 years old), but for myself. She has continually had EA's during our time together. I guess I can't deal with it anymore. She isn't a good communicator by her own admission. She feels she can't talk, so she chooses to write. Yet, she admitted in C session, that she hasn't even written to me either.

I guess it is the continual breaking of vows I can't take. She always drifts away then comes back to work on things, just to leave again. I know that I need to change, yet is this a sign of her trying to escape or her crying for attention?

For me, the last straw was us sitting having what should be a romantic dinner on the water's edge is San Diego at sunset. She tells me that she loves me like a wife loves her husband. Tells me that she wants to know if the apartment I'm getting now will be roomy enough for both of us. Later, we are writing in a book about our relationship and how we met. Yet, when I'm writing in the book, she is writing in her journal how much she misses the other man. How when she kisses me she can't wait for it to be over and how she would rather be kissing/making love to the other man. Straight lies to my face... how can I work on that? Yet... I miss her.

As for the goals, my apartment is the first. That should be completed next Friday. After that, I'm starting to workout with some co-workers at the company gym. After, I'm re-enrolling in school this upcoming semester. After that, focus on work and enjoy life.

Yes, ups & downs... just not sure if she really wants to make it happen.