I asked for a divorce

[doctorcue]

So here is a brief synopsis of my marriage:

Wife has had numerous EA's over the course of our relationship (together 6.5 years & married 4 years). We have been trying to work on it, but she is totally infatuated with another man. We went on a short vacation to San Diego after 5 weeks of the bomb dropping on me. She has twice told me that she wanted to work on it. Yet, the whole time together she hasn't extended herself to me. I read her journal that she had been writing in and she talked about feeling no intimacy, told OM that we "weren't going to work, wanting to make love to him, and using me before she feels comfortable leaving.

My wife has had a pattern of falling in love with other men. Essentially four times she has had an EA that has gradually stepped up in level of contact. Now she wants to abandon us and go after this co-worker (they all have been co-workers, including myself). I have realized I need changes in my life, but I have always been open & honest to my wife. Always supported her in her decisions and actions. Never any physical or mental abuse. Never have I cheated. I always came home each night and even invited her to any function that I might attend alone.

I guess I feel that she may not be able to handle marriage and perhaps the EA's are a way of getting out? I made the move for divorce and am getting my own apartment next week. Since there are no kids, no house, married under 5 years, & low assets, we can file for a simple divorce. We talked yesterday about finances and she commented on my happiness. Specifically, how could I be so upbeat & chipper and that it was disturbing. I have been doing a bunch of 180's (being happy, not talking about relationship, pursuing goals) and she is noticing them. Also, financial reality is setting in that her life is going to have major changes (we were living with in-laws to save for house, now she is pretty much stuck there). So she was crying & upset yesterday.

I guess, even though I intend to file for divorce, I wonder if this is a sign of her turning around? Am I being too optomistic because I miss her so much? I could see us working in the future, but not now. I just can't take the lying and no love. Perhaps I am being inpatient? If someone could comment, I would really appreciate it. I definately need an affirmation of my actions or some insight as to what I can expect from her on her current course.