Well, I was trying to discern his level of effort before I answered your "is it selfish" question.
I don't think it's selfish to want more. If he agrees that sex once per week would be nice, but then takes care of himself privately, rather than coming to you, I would categorize that as..well, maybe not selfish (depends on his reasons) but definitely not acting in the best interests of the R, kwim?
IOW, I don't think you are being any more or less selfish than what he is.
Once you see some effort from him, I'm sure you will feel MUCH better about things. Even if you are not blissed out sexually, you will likely feel a lot of goodwill and love towards him for trying. At least that's how I feel!
I hope this didn't come across as attacking towards your H. I know it must be hard to leap across the chasm and start ML again when it feels so "rusty" and awkward. But he's gotta start doing it before he feels like doing it!
