Thanks for the praise, that's good for the PMA!
Actually I still feel like 'myself' today, and that's what I wanted, not at a 'high' pma level but that's ok.

There are a couple more positives and some negatives that I want to mention.

On the negative side, ex was so concerned about shopping and taking care of us, that he offered me $150 just b4 he left, but I only took the $100. Now I am still feeling guilty about that. He wanted to make sure the boys are covered for school expenses, but it makes me feel like a prostitute for acccepting money after he visits!

He talked about some concerns that he has been having some health problems. I didn't know how to reply to this. He said he has 'blacked-out' a few times in the last couple of weeks, but doesn't want to see a dr as any restrictions may cost him his job. I did tell him that it was stupid to drive up here then! But I'm wondering if he is just looking for sympathy!

I kissed him while we walked back to the car to thank him for dinner and again when he was ready to leave. He kinda flinched both times! So, basically he was only comfortable w/hugs and holding me around the waist. I guess that's still positive!

Some more positives; somehow, the mileage between us has shrunk! Logically, we are 420 miles apart. He used to say (always during an argument) that I was 500 miles from him. When he got here, he kept saying it was only 318! When I joked that it isn't possible, he says 'oh, that's from when i filled up on gas in Lansing' (ok, add 20 to 318 and I still don't come up with 420. or did I forget some calculation formula here?? )

He asked a few times on how well we are doing (and sometimes asked just how am I doing!) I steered the convo back to s9 every time and his progress. He did comment that he was glad to hear me joking after a couple of silly comments I made.

He emailed last nite to tell me he made it home, but couldn't call since phone needed to be charged. (hmm, has a car charger so that's silly) He said 'thanks for helping this weekend'????

And he did have tears in his eyes when he left. (right after my last kiss) so I played on that a bit more! (naughty me!) I had s9 come out to the patio to wave goodbye to dad over and over.

I'm thinking of telling him to count the $100 as an advance on c/s, and maybe throw in a joke about his 'blackouts' the next time we talk! Like - 'did you bang your head on anything this week- wouldn't want any sense knocked into you!'
T