The best advice I can give you on when you see him is to do what feels right for you. I think it might be a good idea to have a few guidelines in your head of what you're willing and not willing to do/have happen. And then I'd just go from there. Wait and see how he acts towards you. He may be a complete jerk and you may not want to hug him! You know what you're doing (you know the DB rules), and you just need to listen to your heart and not be afraid to listen to it.
Ex called - right after his free minutes kicked in! Of course I told him football was on, so he said he could call back another time. I said it was ok, eagles/steelers are not my fave!
First he says he probably can't make it this w/e, I told him the next w/e is not a good one for me (end of month and no $, and the kids starting school the following week-but didn't say this to him; he thinks I have 'plans') So he quickly changes his mind and says he can work on making it this w/e! Is he more anxious to see me than I am him??
I've got my PMA up high right now, I think I am ready for his visit. I have an interview first thing tomorrow, one of the girls from the temp agency is going w/me (never had that happen b4!) but that might be a plus! I was able to sidetrack the job sitch w/both dd25's this w/e and also while ex was on the phone. So, if that goal doesn't materialize by this w/e, it just won't be up for discussion.
I'm not going to focus on too much of my life anyways. Keep him wondering, and I am going to flirt like crazy. (Hope- I've worked out my guidelines in my head and I will stick to them) I also figure that he is one of the many fish in the sea, and I will do what I can to bait him this w/e. Then next week, back to gal and leave him wondering what happened here! I'm not sure what is going on in his life w/ow right now, but she better watch out; I will be major competition.
Am I pumped up or what? (and my football team plays Thur nite, I'll tape it and watch my guys again just b4 ex gets into town) T
T - My goodness woman are you ready or what??? That's an awesome attitude! I can't wait to hear how it all plays out! I'll keep my fingers cross for you on both the job and the visit!
They asked how much $$, when could I start and if I am under contract w/the temp service. Sssssooooo, does that mean I may get directly hired?? They said they would call me tomorrow to let me know!
UUUHHHMMMMMM! Have to calm down now, meditate. This interview was almost too easy. The managers that met w/me did start talking about me while I was still there. (in German!) So, I guess I will need to learn a new language quick or these guys will be talking behind my back, in front of me, oh, you know what I mean!
Ex called me again! AAAAAHHHHHH!!! I can't believe this!! Two nites in a row when he couldn't 'afford' to call during the week b4 this! He is trying his hardest to get here this w/e and says he wants to come back again in the fall!
Does he miss us or what??
He finally asked if I knew which motel to stay at, and I told him they are just too expensive right now w/tourist season still going on. I offered that he could stay here. He says he doesn't want to cause any problems, doesn't want to argue and just wants to have a nice visit w/us. I said, 'there's nothing to argue about'! He appreciated my offer, and says he will sleep on the couch. Ok. (that works perfectly into my plan)
I now have a big to-do list going that I want done b4 he comes around.
Tomorrow, I am cleaning this place top to bottom and getting it spotless.
I'm searching through all my clothes to find anything else that fits good! I have a pair of designer jeans that he bought me that should work now.
I have also been trying to get a front plate holder on the truck today. I didn't have any nuts around here, then I bought the wrong size, and now I realize they are a b***h to put on. And the holes don't line up to the ones on my plate. (why did I have to move to a state that requires a front plate on a vehicle??? )
I did get the fridge stocked up today and will put gas in my cars and check the oil. I also want to get some school shopping done so the k's don't say they need stuff.
I think that's about it.
I don't want ex to come here and think that we still 'need' him. I'm going to give him the attitude that he is dispensable! After he leaves Sunday, I will go back to the talking but not talking plan. Let him keep pursuing after me, I'm enjoying this week. T
There has been some major shifts in your sitch since the last time I looked in. The interest that your X is showing is really quite impressive. I will be really interested in seeing how things go this weekend. I know you will act-as-if and be happy, cheerful and light around X. Make him wonder about the new dejavu. The job offer must give you a PMA boost!
Keep us updated.
UD
The 3 laws of DBing:
1. PMA is critical to DBing.
2. Since drop in WAW's PMA leads to drop in LBS's PMA and vice-versa detachment is critical.
3. Validate to raise WAW's PMA and GAL to raise LBS's.
Quote: He appreciated my offer, and says he will sleep on the couch. Ok. (that works perfectly into my plan)
Your skills are impressive, young Padawan! But learn much you still have! <Gabe in his best Yoda voice>
Quote: I'm searching through all my clothes to find anything else that fits good!
T, we've already established that - your D's short-shorts. You've got to maximize the head-turning and doubletakes on how much you've changed. The job is great, the move, the confidence. But as a woman, you have a weapon that guys just don't truly have - your bod. Use it, T. Do your hair different, makeup slightly different, consider a thong if you haven't before, etc... Your GFs should have some great ideas.
Most of all, but absolutely confident and relaxed about your attractiveness around him, and let that burn a nice hole in his brain about what he has walked away from. His hint about no arguing is huge - so no matter how many times he angers you with s/t said, think "Quack-quack" and let roll off your back. If you need to, you can vent after he leaves. Also, seek no reassurances or avoid being critical of him (visits, child contacts, etc...).
Hope I haven't offended you. But that's my guys take.
I am on pins and needles (where did that term ever come from?) waiting for this company to call me today! Thanks UD for the congrats, its not confirmed yet; but things do look very 'gute'!
Oh, Gabe, you definitely didn't offend me! It's along the lines that I am thinking too. One of the guys at the shop yesterday kept checking out my legs (I wore a skirt); so I will use this to my best advantage. I have the short-shorts, my tight jeans and a couple of skimpy tank tops for Saturday. (oh, note to self-need to go look for the lingerie also! note to Gabe-I already wear thongs! ) And he isn't getting any s from me, I'm just coming onto him and will let him know that he will have to work for that! (note to ex, if you want a piece of this a$$, it's going to cost you!)
It's going to be a little different over his last visit but I think I have learned s/t since then. He immediately wanted the touching, hugs/kisses etc while here; but rejected me as soon as he was back home. So this time, I will play 'hard to get', be flirtatious and leave him wanting more! Playing the feminine side of me to the full extent! That should get the hole burning in his brain!
And 'no arguing'. I picked up on that also. He probably has concerns that if he comes to see us, I will want to 'argue' for more attention after. But NO, I will drop him as soon as he leaves my back door! S9 is really doing great w/o dad for now and as I am planning, I will give ex a good taste of my life being wonderful w/o him also! Hmm, maybe I will be 'gone' when he calls after he gets home.
And the job issue is not being discussed. (he did ask during the phone convo if I was at work during the day & when is a good time to call- I didn't tell him anything) I want him to wonder what is going on in my life. He must have drilled dd25 hard about me. Some info that I haven't told anyone has made the rounds. (s17 was recently rejected from the military, he told his sis who told ex who told his ex!) My life must have his curiousity up, so I will tell no details while he is visiting! But I will keep the PMA high, and let him wonder!
This is so awesome. I needed some good news today and I'm glad it's coming from you! My fingers are sooooo crossed for you. And I bet you'll do more than make his head turn in those short shorts!
If you need to, you can vent after he leaves. Also, seek no reassurances or avoid being critical of him (visits, child contacts, etc...).
) And he isn't getting any s from me, I'm just coming onto him and will let him know that he will have to work for that! (note to ex, if you want a piece of this a$$, it's going to cost you!) 