Don't know what to say T, except "Hi". I don't think you have any other choice than to let go of the rope. He has OW, interest primarily in other XW and kids with her, and apparently thinks that he has enough of an "in" with your family that he would degrade you to them.

My opinion is just to completely move on and put the onus entirely on him to decide whether he ever wants a R with you again. I wouldn't go to the extreme of never taking his calls, he is the father of your child, but I wouldn't let him presume that you are someone he can vent to and I certainly wouldn't take any negative comments from him. Just "act as if" you are completely unaffected by him.

In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years.
Abraham Lincoln

It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed.
Theodore Roosevelt