I never thought my DB'ing was diciplined. I always thought it was a struggle to do the "not to do's" and stay on track. Fourtuantly, at the time I was on here often, I made some good friends that helped keep me focused. As well on the outside of the bb. There were many times Floyd, JW, and myself were playing chess online all hours of the day and night. It helps when you have activites to pass the time.
I do agree that DB'ing works. Although the ultimate goal is to get back w/ your spouse, if you apply what you learn towards your innerself, you can make it through. I can say I gave it a good go. I look back at my stich often as milestones in my life. It is a good road map for where I am headed.
I must say though, the changes must be true, and for you. If not, then it is being done for the wrong reasons, and they will not stick. My xw told me many times how proud of me she was, and that she could not believe what I was doing. As well, the power of prayer does work. She once told me before the divorce it did not matter how much I prayed, she would NEVER talk to me again...
As for the job loss, it was a career change. Something that I did plan for, and she knew what I was doing. Something happened the night that all went down. My eyes were opened to a much larger world because of a friends own situation. That night, a good friend very close to me had his wife walk out. This good friend counseled me through my whole stich. Because of my new career, I was able to minister to him in ways I could not have. I truly believe God gave me a release that night for my decision. (By the way, I have typo's and fat fingers).
As for me becoming the WAS, I possibly did. My intent was to do take the final step and do the LRT and live life and allow her to live hers. Like DR states, there is a possiblity that this will not give you the desired results. She had as many oppertunites to call and/or reach out to me as I did her. She did not, nor did I. I truly believe that she did not want to go the route that I took. I moved back to my hometown (30 mins away) where I found a content lifestlye for me. She hated where I grew up, and everything about it. I did not want to leave my hometown again. My family, friends, church, and the woman that became my wife was here. We had two different circles that would not have congeled. I would have had to give everything that I beleived in, built, and strengthend up to be with her again. I do believe if I went back to her, I would have went back to my old self.
It could have possibly worked out, who knows. I do know I am very happy with my life, wife, and way of living. Some of Gods greatest gifts are unanswered prayers.
Remember though, I can say this by looking back in time. I gave it all that I had, and I still came out on top even though the desired outcome did not come to bear fruit.
Love truely is a choice. And I will never fault anyone for going the extra mile, or giving up. We all have our limits. With each stich being different, and we are the ones who know our spouses or xspouses the best, we also know when time is at end.
If it wasnt for God, family, friends, and my fellow DB'ers, I would have gone nuts!!!
Thanks for reading Gabriel, once again I am flattered that you read as much of my post as you did. That had to be a looooong read. I am also glad that you could glean something from my story.
Good luck with your stich, I pray it turns out the way you want.
