Thanks NY, I think I should clarify something first off. He is the one who is actually approaching me about talk of how he is feeling towards me and the OW, so if he makes the first move about R talk, I validate his statements and give him advice, because he's asking me for it, not because I am just assuming or giving it to him for no reason. He wants me to be his friend, I told him I am here for him, but also told him that the way I feel about when he talks about the OW bothers me so perhaps he should find a neutral party to talk about it. When I do mention something to him about what he should do, or something, I start the statement something like this, "Ok, so you are feeling this way...I feel that maybe what you need to do is...(look at it this way...etc..etc..)but it is up to you to decide." I give him advice b/c he asks for it, or try to uplift him b/c he tells me he's unhappy (these are just examples). I didn't not invite him b/c he'd choose not to go, I just didn't invite him b/c I thought it would be awkward for everyone b/c the ppl who I invited know that we aren't together and that it might be awkward for him as well. I have been getting positive results from him if I listen, validate and offer some advice but not my opinion. I tell him if he asks about things.."I'm not sure b/c I am not you, but this is what I am feeling or thinking...(or something like that) and I also tell him, no one can decide things for u, u have to do that on your own. He hasn't really gotten angry or mad or anything when I've been talking to him (minus Thursday), so maybe that's a positive. But this w/e he's away w/ OW and I am focusing on having fun. I am going out w/ some friends tonight and for my anniversary tomorrow, I am not sure what i am doing, but it will probably be with my S. H said he may stop by tomorrow night, if for no other reason than to make sure the car we sold is ready to be picked up on Monday...not sure why he said that the way he did, maybe to make me feel bad or whatever..but I am not letting it bother me, it was just strange coming from him. LOL:)
