NY,
thats what I'm trying to do. I am not looking back at the past and saying i should have's..rather i am looking at the mistakes I made in our marriage and saying..ok i did that, so NOW what can i do to change that so it doesn't happen again. I told H this this morning. I told him straight out, everything that happened was not just his fault, it was the OW's fault and my fault as well. But it doesn't matter, b/c now we have to look at this moment, and learn from what happened in order to change our behaviors...that's what I am focusing on. I am also being more attentive to him, listening more, but still..i am being more distant. HE called me to see how i was doing, not the other way around. HE has been calling to talk to me, not the other way around. Yes, I may email him a cute Ecard and stuff, to say, we're thinking of you, and that's b/c I took him for granted and I want him to know we (S and I) think he is special to us. I think those things might be working, b/c he said to me today that he misses me sometimes. He also doesn't like the idea of me being with anyone else...I told him, well, it may or may not happen, i do not know. B/C simply, he hasn't said to me, I may come home, or I may do this..so let him wonder a bit. UHM, what's PMA? I still don't have the book...no money:(... Anyway, I am trying when we talk, to be positive about things, or tell him that this thing bothers me please let's not discuss it...
He said, he would have stayed in town this weekend had I mentioned my get together with friends I am having on Saturday to him, earlier. But I felt he would be uncomfortable with them, so I didn't tell him. He found out from our mutual friend that I was having the party (that was Sunday) and he waited til Wed to see if I would mention it. When I didn't, he brought it up and i told him the reason I didn't invite him. He doesn't think it's the truth, but it is, and so be it. I let it go. I also told him he was more than welcome to come, but he is choosing to go away. So be it again...I'm not going to change his mind about things..I encouraged him to have a good time.