Hopeful Thx for the info. sorry to hijac a thread, this was a fun thread so youall please let us know the fun 180s
Youre probably a babe (see below) quote __________________________ Appearance- H and I were having financ. diff. and so I was not taking care of myself like I wanted. Of course, H still did. So despite the finan. sitch, I have been going to a good salon to get my hair cut, I went and bought clothes that I really like (had to as I lost so much weight)Effective with H. unquote _________________________________
Men are accused of fixing. STBX just wanted validation quote ______________ Communication- I have changed how I communicate. I used to think I listened, which I guess I did, but I did not validate and I always tried to "fix things". I have become good at validating, at not taking things personal,etc. VERY effective with H. Unquote _______________________
Kinda did below was more into the "You did this to me" self pity rap. Good tip, it's true in my case, I'll use it. quote __________________ Regarding the sitch of H abandoning me, having an A, etc. Instead of being destroyed by it...have thanked him for helping me to stop by freight train life and to reflect upon myself and this great opportunity. Another shocker to H. unquote _______________________
OK Dis is what I am working on * Moving out so STBX can move in with D11 so miminize her trauma. STBX has 12+ yrs of outstanding parenting experience I've seen so I do not base actions on one incident.
* Got D11 a gituar and had one I gave SS worked on. Will get one myself and reconnect with my old early 70s music side.
* Try to say "Hi" to at least 10 Gals a day. Old young ect I do not care. Take it as a numbers game. Just looking for a friendly howdy back so I can pick up tips to relating to 50% of the better looking population.
Some past ones did not work either however I was swimming uphill. Don't know if you don't try. THx again
"All I want is a weeks pay for a day's work" Steve Martin
No hill- you have some good 180s. I like the one about saying hello to 10 women a day. didn't mean to go on and on about me...just trying to tell some 180's and the effect they have had. All you wondering about the jealousy factor- it appears to be working in my case so thought I'd let you all know. So...who's going to win the shock challenge? Let's see what you've all got.
still_hopeful No worries on going on about you. Most folks on this BB are interested. The Vets of this BB (not me) pipe in and give really good wisdom.
Along with 10 howdys are state 1 noticing fact daily(earrings, dress, shoes ect) This takes work however becoming used to noticing details is a good thing we learned and used overseas. That was one of my minor marriage failures thus need to 180.
Hope you shock em. It Could lower your light bill.
"All I want is a weeks pay for a day's work" Steve Martin
boy...we are getting some dead air on here. Anyone come up with some good shockers? Well, as I've said the "jealousy" factor of the online personal has at least gotten attn. on my side. Thinking of bringing it up a notch...H has accused me of being a "prude" before, which I actually take some offense to, but we won't get into that. Thinking I should go out and have some of those really sexy photos taken and then email them to myself like they are emailed by the photographer. what do you guys think?
With me a week ago I stopped all contact with H as OW had put restrictions on him about coming to my house so I went dark totally. One week later he is coming around lots, ringing me every day and 2 days ago we ML.....Now I am back into Dbing better than ever....I am now going to be the one who put no pressure on him and leave all that to OW she has played straight into my hands and I plan to use it to my full advantage....I guess I will be the OW now for awhile and lets just see what happens....hehehehe I am hoping she will self destruct b4 his very eyes.....
Go Kim, you sneaky little devil! I am just cracking up right now, as I see that mysteriously some emails I've rec'd from guys on the personal ad somehow never made it to my email....or did someone mysterious delete them? I went on the site where it shows the emails...wow..I never got some of them. Hee hee. I must admit it feels good to have H feeling a little threatened. So you and I, Kim, will have to keep up our strategies...our H's never knew they M'd great strategists, did they? Awesome for you and H being so romantic and affectionate...I think I'd have a long way to go before that happened with me. I don't think H has any romantic feelings towards me...so I think I'll just play up the jealousy thing some more, and yep, I'll go for the sexy pictures!
Gosh that gave me a giggle and you seem more comfortable saying "sexy pictures" than b4 so you go for it (Make sure they don't become porn (LOL) only joking). Sometimes it is good to play with WAS's heads as they have done it to us for so long. I know that's not what it is all about but it does help to make the journey more bearable at times...... I wouldn't say H and I are being romantic at the moment more like in "LUST" but hey it's a starting point....KDU
Ok, can I join in on this...I am pretty new to DB, but loving it so far...my major 180's so far are simply stopping the conflict...but here's the one I will have fun with. H is coming to town in a couple weeks to visit kids, and I know he is short cash, so I invited him to stay here. My first reaction was, no way, he chose this, he can stay in hotel...let him see what it is like to lose his family...but then I realized that I could do a couple of things - maybe have some good quality time together, I will keep it casual, I lost 20 pounds and am working out, so I will just happen to make coffee in my shortie PJ's (the new very sexy ones he has never seen, maybe he will wonder why I bought these?), and I will drive OW crazy knowing he is staying with me, so maybe she will slip up - as soon as she tries to control his behavior, he will start to pull away from her!
VJ Sounds like you are thinking like a true DBer...good for you! And yes, it is more bearable to try to have a little fun and make a little light of the sitch.
Some 180s for me...hmmm...let's see. Well, overall, both my H and I are communicating ona much better lvl than we did bfore the OW. I am trying new things sexually with him that I never thought to try before, because he had been complaining things were BORING with me in the bedroom bfore OW came along. Apparently that is working cuz he keeps coming back for more loL!:) Uhm. I am doing a fairly good job of not being negative anymore about the sitch, and looking at it as hey, we are still married but he's just living with a friend for a while (Even tho friend is OW and they probably have sex every now and then) I am virtuous and will continue to keep myself as such b/c H is the only man I've ever been with (even tho in the past I have thought about/ gotten into sitch's where I've had online sex or emotional A's). My H is the true love of my life and no physical attraction to any other M will drive me into cheating on H (after all we are still married and I am a better person to not stoop to his and the OW's level). K so maybe that's not a 180??? But it's something I want to hold true to myself. I dyed my hair a slightly brighter color and am planning on getting a loose perm to add body to my hair. Starting to do things OMO with my S12. Go to the Lake, go to the mall during the weekdays etc..stuff I didn't do OMO when H was in house..or if I did, not during weekdays. BIG 180 that seems to be driving him crazy. I am actually getting along with my bro in law and his wife! That is a HUGE step for me b/c I always compared his bro to mine (they are same age) and felt he was not as good as/decent as my brother *they are complete opposites of one another*. Bro in laws been in trouble in past but has proven himself to be a good dad and a loving hubby even if he is a bit crazy in the head LOL!:) But he and sis in law have been very helpful and supportive in all this. They are mostly concerned about my S12. So I let him hang out there more and H was shocked about that. Uhm. I will be auditioning for a part in a play soon... Having a party the day before my anniv..*which is coming up in a few weeks* It's a temporary party *planning it in case H doesn't come home by then*. H checks my emaill acct. I have access to his, I haven't checked his since last T b/c the email from his OW made me a bit upset *only b/c I feel like she's falling in love with him and if he's just stringing her along, that's not fair to her oh and i feel she's manipulating him and trying her best to hold on to him* Must be a woman thing.LOL! Another BIG thing: S and I went to see fireworks on Sat, and H and OW came along *met us there* and i acted like she was nothing more than a person just hanging with us. didn't make direct conversation w/ her but chatted indirectly, and basically bit my tongue when the urge came to say give himm back to me u $@&^$ #@&$^! LOL! BIG step for me! Felt like we were a family and she was just there to hang out. Think I made her feel uncomfortable, but not him..YAY FOR ME!:) Let me know resp to any of these. There are more but I want to try to get some sleep before I have to work in five hrs!
Youre probably a babe 
(see below)
Kinda did below was more into the "You did this to me" self pity rap. Good tip, it's true in my case, I'll use it. 
STBX has 12+ yrs of outstanding parenting experience I've seen so I do not base actions on one incident.
Got D11 a gituar and had one I gave SS worked on. Will get one myself and reconnect with my old early 70s music side.
Try to say "Hi" to at least 10 Gals a day. Old young ect I do not care. Take it as a numbers game. Just looking for a friendly howdy back so I can pick up tips to relating to 50% of the better looking population. 