I thought it might be a really useful tool for us DBers to have a thread in which we just told about our 180s and things we did to get our WAS's curious and interested in what we are up to. I know in our own threads we really delve into our own sitches and others read, we support one another, etc. I also know that we all are hoping to learn a thing or two from one another's sitchs and their trials and errors. It might be nice to have these things all compiled in one thread in which we can all learn a thing or two. Now I am not suggesting one monster thread in which we all tell about our sitches. Just hey...I did this 180 and here's the result...or this got my S's attn. That sorta thing. Well, maybe no one will like this idea and that's ok. Part of my 180 is to throw myself out there and not worry if others are approving. So idea thrown out to the BB board. And I think we ought to have a contest! Who can get their WAS's jaw to drop the farthest? Ha ha. Michele advised me to shock my H. Of course this must be done in good DBing spirit...but I find I rather enjoy myself when my H is a little surprised by me. It makes me laugh inside. Hey, we all feel like this is a game somewhat...so I like to have fun when I play a game. If my H is going to play games with me, I find no harm in making a game out of this DBing so I may enjoy myself a little more and take the edge off and laugh. Of course, Dbing if you want to call it a game, is serious and there are high stakes involved. I'm not trying to downplay it. Just trying to make the coping with it a little easier. So...how 'bout it? And takers? The gauntlet is thrown to the ground. And if you think this is a stupid idea, go ahead and tell me. Or maybe just keep it to yourself if you want to be kind.
I would love to hear more about this. It may be kind of different in my sitch because the surprise factor always wins approval from my H and I'm already seen as the risk-taker in our R. For me it might have to be something really crazy like... befriending the OW. Just kidding!
This is good for me to look at things a bit differently though.
This sounds like a great thread idea!!! 180's do usually work well in my case. The problem is me thinking them up and actually carrying them out.
One 180 I am working on is to try and run. I have always just walked on the treadmill while my H is very competitive in sports. So far it is working. He went with me to pick out athletic gear. Last night he walked by the workout place with our dog while I was on treadmill
I'll be looking forward to hearing everyone's 180's
Thanks, SP
According to the Buddha, praise and blame, gain and loss, pleasure and sorrow may "come and go like the wind," but happiness comes if you can "rest like a great tree in the midst of them all."
I shocked my H when he saw an application to Fritz (topless bar) that I had filled out. He said that he didnt want to share me with other men...LOL! All I was doing is offering to help close out their end of the fiscal year....I had met the owner....lol! I wish I had a camera for the face he made...total shock!
In the past my W would have to drag me out onto a dance floor. This weekend I attended a wedding (alone) out of town. When W heard that I had danced until 4 am at the reception, she says she doesn't believe me. W is a little p!ssed. I asked W to go but she turned me down. Too bad so sad. (Wish I could tell her that out loud.)
This is great and is going to generate alot of ideas for people I think! It makes me My biggest 180's so far have been- complete calm. complete validation. always being completely optimistic (in front of H anyway...working on it) So far the biggest shock to him was when I completely detached over night. And when I acted like I didn't know it was our anniversary...can you believe he bought it? And dressing differently, carrying myself more confident and relaxed And when he knew I was making some male friends he got uncomfortable But now it's time for some big guns...some real shockers...but they need to be genuine so creativity and brainstorming is on its way we go out to eat on occassion...thinking about taking him to a strip club...hee heee. That would surprise him!
Quote: And dressing differently, carrying myself more confident and relaxed thinking about taking him to a strip club...hee heee
Maybe try the short skirt with a thong??? or better yet nothing if thats not already your style . I couldn't but go for it be daring....Wow what a 180 that would be for me
My biggest 180 of late i guess would have to have been last night at gym and convo with OW (remained calm while slinging all my insults... ) and then i called him and calmly reported to him what i did instead of avoiding him or freaking out on him next. Oh yeah text him today very nicely too after last night, re refinancing my truck and he responded back very nicely too!!!
My 180s (aside from the obvious ones revolving around no crying, clinging or begging)
Changed the voice mail so that he's no longer the voice announcing all of our names... now it's my voice and just our phone number
Painted our bedroom
Took angel-babies on a trip to a cottage all alone, no help, no consultation
Not preparing dinner when H comes over to play with angel-babies... let him cook (dropping the rope)
Changed brand of beer in fridge... I'm not a big beer drinker (red wine's my poison) so make him wonder "who recommended this beer? why is it here?"
Never stand when he is leaving house... no following him hoping for a hug
Weight loss
Sexier clothes (no more soccer-mom chic... yummy-mummy all the way)
Renting obscure movies, listening to different music, reading new books... fun to experiment and makes him intrigued by my new interests (and wonder where they came from)
New kind of food in fridge (none of his stand-bys)
New tattoo on small of back (angel-babies' initials)
Vague references to "A friend was telling me..." don't need to clarify that 9 times out of 10 it was one of my Sister Goddesses that he's very familiar with.
Reconnected with "The Gang" from university. Now have tidbits of gossip that he eats up. Also makes me VERY happy to be back with them.
Phone just rang... it was H... I didn't answer.
Going to a party SANS ENFANTS on Sunday. Imagine that!
Oh yeah... a big one early on that I really should do again.
Went rockclimbing. Harnesses and everything. Very different for me, overcoming fears and insecurities. Huge confidence boost. Stunned (and impressed) H.
