Ug. When went home together to talk to a contractor about home improvements, and we felt so much like a couple, making the decisions together, having lunch beforehand, being like we were in the "good times," that I got carried away.
All day I've been wanting to ask her how she felt about last night, did she like it and what did it mean to her, and I did a good job and bit my tongue and didnt' even mention it. But then when she went to go back to work I tapped her on the shoulder and gave her a kiss while holding her face in hands. She was receptive, but the look on her face was, well, not really a grimace but not really blank, either. I felt so good towards her, which I wish I could act upon in some way because it helps me lose my bad feelings, but I know it's not fair if she doesn't enjoy it too and feel the same about it.
Sigh. Now I feel bad for doing it.
She'll be home in two hours and we're going to have dinner and do some yard work. I'll have to be on my best behaviour and not press, not pursue, not talk. I can do it. I will treat her with the respect she deserves.
