Then last night I made a date for us at a good Italian restaurant we've never been to. Dinner was very good, and we had a good time talking to each other, and it was relaxed. When we got home we did some puttering around, and then I went to lay down on the bed and read some haikus. She joined me and we read some to each other. It was nice. Then I asked her the question she has been asking me at this point in the evening, "Is there something you wanted to do?" I said yes, and said, "If it starts to bother you, tell me to stop and I will. If you want to reciprocate, I'd like that." Then I proceeded to just run my fingers over her uncovered skin, like I like to do, for probably 40 minutes or so. It feels good, for me and her. I undressed her, and eventually she was naked while I stroked her. She touched me back from time to time. She never stopped me, and we ended up having sex. She gave clear indications that's what she wanted (physical and verbal). It felt really good. It seemed like she really liked it, too. The only thing is I never kissed her on the mouth, something she often still seems uncomfortable with. Afterwards, she cried lightly for a bit and held my hand the whole time. I was tempted to ask why she was crying, but I just held her hand instead. We then slept naked together, which we haven't done in maybe a year.
This morning was pleasant, I made her a fried egg and coffee, put a rose on her pillow while she was showering, and we gave each other a peck goodbye when she dropped me off.
So, I have no idea what to make of this, or maybe just some idea. Obviously you can't fix a relationship with one happy night ending in sex. But it has to be a good thing, doesn't it? I can't help but think that if she didn't plan to truly try she wouldn't let me give her so much affection. I think that if she lets me get this close to her, I can make it all work, because both of us are "touchy" people, in that we get a lot of satisfaction from physical contact. And to a certain degree I may have seduced her last night. I've never thought of me that way, but I may have inadvertantly become seductive towards her. I don't know if that's bad or good or just is.
Now I'm more motivated then ever, though. I feel like I'm getting the chance I wanted, and I'm going to take full advantage of it and give Laurie the unconditional love she deserves, and the man she always wanted when she got married.
Oh, and I haven't shown her the letter I posted above yet. I'm going to put some DB goals at the end to share with her when I feel shes ready.
