My wife, who was essentially a WAW who never left the house, agreed to "try" again to be a couple with me again. I did what I don't think I'm supposed to do when DBing, which was convince her (I've also been DBing for two months, fairly well, I think, and she has had a bit of time to get over a EA she had with a fellow at her work). We are without our two boys this weekend and she agreed it was a good time to try to start building back our relationship and trying to be a couple again. This was after she said that maybe she would spend the some time away at her Mom's while the boys where gone, but I gave her a honest and heartfelt speech about what I felt and what I think could happen, and after some intial doubts, she agreed. She is still pessimistic, and is "empty" inside, but she's giving it a try. Last night she initiated holding my hand in a movie two times, a gesture of effection towards me that she hasn't done in maybe a year.
We've just been on a vacation where we were together contantly for 6 days. I was on my best DBing behavior, and perhaps she's seeing that my changes are for real and I'm committed to our marriage and her in the best possible way.
The thing is, now I'm nervous as can be. I didn't really expect her to try again, at least not something where she agreed to go along with me and it was out in the open (I was expecting her just to slowly and silently come around, or perhaps divorce me). She resists anything she sees as "my way," and I really don't want her just to humor me, I want it to be something for the two of us, equally. How do I do that? I, too, need my empty and often bad feelings replaced with good ones of love and trust, but now that I've got the chance it's surprised me and I'm trying to figure out what are the best things to do to build back our good feelings and love. I've read DR, and have a slew of other books to draw from, but I think I'm in a bit of a state of shock and paralysis for fear of losing something now that I've got it this far.
Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated. References to Michelle's books are good, too.
