Quote: "you should let me know any time you are horny... you should ask for sex anytime you want it..."
I think if I really did ask/tell everytime I was in the mood she would freak out.
Why not try it for, say, a week?
And let her know that you are doing as she asked. I think you take on too much of her reaction--you are fused with her, in other words. If she hates it, that is HER problem. She will then be able to say, Ok the full force of it overwhelmed me. And you can respond, What about 50%? Anything less than that and I feel like I am stifled.
Blah blah.
What I'm saying is that you can begin the negotiating process. The process of learning how to live with each other, sexually. Right now the system of she decides when and where and how much is not working for you. That's all you have to say to her. It's not working for me.
If she says, You want me to be someone I'm not, then you counter with, And you want me to be someone I'm not!
The idea is to break out of the avoidance pattern you are in and just start the negotiation process, as ugly and full of conflict as it's liable to be.
Right now, you are allowing her to dictate everything and then getting mad at her for it. This is unfair to her.
I believe that you will start to feel better about the situation when you begin to assert yourself, even if it does not bring more sex. It just feels good to be yourself, kwim?
