Quote: Does your wife ever read this forum? If not maybe if she did she could gain some insight into you as I did my H by realizing it is not just you who feels sex is that much of a important factor in life. I would have never been open to that without this BB and the truth that lies within it. Since we are all faceless here we are free to say what is real within us.
No, my wife does not read this forum. I have asked her to do things in the past (such as read SSM) and she said "no." I didn't even tell her the name of the book (since it can sound so intimidating). Instead, I took a few choice sentences from the book that were exact words from our mouths and presented them to her. She would not even look at them. We ended up having an hour long arguement over my insistence to "change her" and "make her someone she isn't".
I see this forum as a place where I can come vent and get things off my chest. Where I can share the fact that I am NOT alone and NOT perverted. To bring her here would probably not do me any good.
She does not understand the faceless anonymous nature of an online forum. She would feel violated as if I had been telling our next door neighbor about our sex life.
Quote: One thing I did want to address. Was you stated that your wife was molested. And that it inhibates you from feeling free to be yourself in certain manners with her. This worrys me and makes me wonder how and what she has done to deal with the emotional baggage that molestation brings to the table.
According to her, she HAS dealt with it and fought her demons. We were going to counseling for a year and she finally confessed to the counselor what happened. She told the counselor that she had accepted / dealt with / cured whatever ills the molesting caused and did not need any help dealing with it. At that point, our funds ran out and we had to stop going to counseling.
My wife has made positive moves in our relationship. She actually said to me "you should let me know any time you are horny... you should ask for sex anytime you want it..."
~ don't start cheering for me just yet guys...
she said "ask" - this does not imply she is going to "grant" anything. It just means she wants the lines of communication to be open.
I think if I really did ask/tell everytime I was in the mood she would freak out.
She told me months ago that she because disinterested in sex when she felt that she could never keep up or satisfy me. She felt that I was always trying to push it to the next level so she just shut down. As such, the thought of constantly popping in every day and saying "hey, guess what... I'm horny again..." just doesn't sound like a good idea.
I think I will follow suggestions earlier in this thread about letting a little more of ME out of the bag little by little...
