I think the two main issues I have to deal with are the following...
(1) I am a conflict avoider. As such, I will always tell myself that tomorrow is a better day to talk to wife about it. I will also tell myself that once such and such is not stressing us it will get better (procrastination)
(2) My wife was molested by an older brother as a child. I am not sure to what extent other than she says no penetration occurred. As such, any thoughts of asking her to "touch me in an intimate fashion" make me paranoid that I am causing her to relive some horrid childhood nightmare.
Basically, her brother was a pervert and manipulated her into doing a lot of things (that she obviously does not care to go into detail on). As such, I feel that I have no right to ask her to do anything that she does not offer to do.
I guess the thing for both of us to understand and talk about is that (1) what her brother did was twisted and wrong (2) what we do as married partners is NOT twisted and wrong. Of course please reread my #1 problem above and you will see why we do not talk about this...
