A long time ago I recommended that everyone on this BB should read "The Corrections" by Jonathan Franzen because it is an excellent novel which features both a HDH/LDW relationship and a HDW/LDH relationship. Enid is the HDW who is in her 70s and has spent her entire adult life married to a LDH. He has recently fallen victim to Parkinson's disease and dementia and is in a nursing facility. I think the quote below will illustrate why reading this book might have been one of the things that made me know I had to resolve this problem.

"...Enid undertook to visit him every day, to keep him well dressed, and to bring him homemade treats.
She was glad, if nothing else, to have his body back. She'd always loved his size, his shape, his smell, and he was much more available now that he was restrained in a geri chair and unable to form coherent objections to being touched. He let himself be kissed and didn't cringe if her lips lingered a little, he didn't flinch if she stroked his hair."

Just a little ray of literary sunshine to brighten everyone's day.

"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver