Quote: I don't feel I should boost him the way I do my kids.
Why not?
I'm not saying you are wrong, just curious as to what your response will be.
I too had a helluva time getting started with the WOA.
I found (and find) it easier to say things like: You know what I like about you? You always keep going on hard days, yada yada.
The fact that you find it hard to say nice things to him indicates that there is still some resentment built up. You might want to try and figure out what that is all about and go from there.
It was all well and good for me to read things like, Don't wait until your partner "deserves" to be treated nice because they will NEVER deserve it. It is a gift from you. Blah blah.
But the truth was that until I got past my own resentment, none of that resonated with me, nor did I have a snowballs chance in hell of pulling it off. I had to do what I had to do to get past the resentment (which involved lots of talking and mutual understanding, but NOT crossing that "beating a dead horse" line) and then I found the WOA to be quite easy.
And, in the end, it's more about me than him, anyway. I feel good when I am good to him. Saying nice things, and pumping him up, feels better than omitting those nice words and having the sick satisfaction of knowing he wanted it and I wouldn't give it. That felt good too (marital sadism and all) but not nearly as good as the other.
