JJ, I know what you mean. This was how it was in my house, also.
I think my H needed to know that he was successful in my eyes. He needed to hear me compliment him and build him up a little bit. He likes this in the same way that I like being sexually pursued by him.
Though I have always been kind to him and "babied" him, he did not really believe that I thought highly of him until I said it out loud to him.
I wish I could say that this change has caused his esteem to skyrocket. It hasn't. It's still early though. I've only been doing it for 6 months or so. We'll see what long term changes come about.
I will say this though: It feels good to compliment him. It felt awkward and wrong at first but now that I am in the groove, I feel good when I do it and he lights up like one of my kids.
