Quote: The issue of weight may seem lame to you. But to him it may just be that is a major to him.
It may be the case that a strong preference for thinness is just a value-neutral opinion but his way of expressing his preference was quite lame nevertheless. If he really cared that much and respected his own preference he could have straight-out told me "Either you lose 30 lbs. or I will no longer have sex with you or I will leave you for a thinner woman.". Then I would have had a choice to make based on my own preferences for how I want to live my life. The same thing goes for his desire for me to earn more money.
I believe there are two reasons why he didn't take strong stands on these issues and chose instead to be passive-aggressively nasty and withholding. The first reason being that he was dependent on our relationship in other ways and didn't want to rock the boat no matter how unhappy he was floating in it and the second reason is that on some level he doesn't respect his own preferences in this regard. Wanting me to look "hot" and make more money are clear attempts to borrow status and therefore ego strength from me.
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
