JJ... You both have shown a lot of openness and honesty in this latest round, and you're getting him to reveal some deep, core issues. You have visited these areas before ( the low self esteem, the lack of respect, etc) but each time you go there and he shows you more insight and less defensiveness, you make progress. This was one of those times.
I wish I could say that you have the one magical convo that turns things around for good, but in my experience, it seems that these are long standing, deeply ingrained areas that need continual work. I do believe that the turn around time from incident to intimacy becomes quicker.
