So here I find myself, in a secure relationship with my husband. Things are great. We didn't go back into the honeymoon stage after we got back together, but are in the second marriage stage where we should be. It was like nothing happened at all, other than a wake up call. It was like a slap in the face to say... hey, if you don't smarten up, you will lose it all.
I have learnt soooo much over the last few months. My little man is 3 weeks old already. Time flies having 2 kids . Some days I sit down after the kids are in bed, and am shocked that I didn't get a chance to shower. But here comes my problems.
I'm feeling like a total loser for wanting to save the marriage. My friends act happy one minute that things worked out, and in the same breath, make me feel like I have no backbone, and that I made the biggest mistake for loving a person that hurt me sooo bad. I'm getting comments all the time, and I'm having a hard time dealing with this. I'm scared to talk to my H in someways, and yet I feel stupid for thinking I can't talk to him.
But I do have to give him the thumbs up. He's reading me better and better. For the last few days I'm struggling with my feelings. I'm feeling sorry for myself and insecure again, and my H knew something was up. He waited patiently and when I was finally able to talk, he listened and validated how I was feeling. For the first time he wasn't interested in saving the world, but just wanted to listen.
Why do people get off on seeing others in trouble? Why do they feel the need to play with my head? Why is it such a bad thing that I wanted my soulmate in my life? Why can we not be happy???????????
I know we need new friends. I know it is time to move on with people who are interested in having fun, instead of bitchin about everything. I want to surround us with couples that are happy, and healthy, yet these are friends who have been part of our lives our whole life.
Maybe I'm just having one of those postpartum blue days. I'm probley reading more into stuff then I need to. I just feel like people are judging me for my decisions. I feel like people are always talking about us behind our backs.
How do you get over that?
I saved my marriage and so can you....Its all about positive thinking...
