Quote:

could you briefly outline for us what you think were the keys to your success?




Love, Patients, understanding, and being stubborn.

I loved my H, myself, and my family too much to let him go. I refused to believe that the way he was acting was infact my H as I knew him. I truely believed he was kidnapped by someone. I never once believed a word he said and only half of what he did.

I had patients for him. I used this as a chance to change the person I had become to hate in myself. I made this about me. I needed time to fix what I was doing to myself. After all I believe that if the marriage was so perfect why did he leave, then I realized with open eyes, that it was so far from perfect. While fixing me, I became my H's friend. I validated everything that he did wether I believed it or not. I was open to everything. So when I heard about the OW, I wasn't shocked while being shocked at the same time. I let him know a few times the pain I was in, but only a when the time was right, like the day I learnt the truth about the OW. I somewhat went dark on him. I started doing all sorts of stuff and not telling him. We went from talking 3-6 times a day to not at all unless he called me. I never called him, and even when he did call, I made sure not to jump at calling him back.

Understanding. I researched all that that I could to understand how we had gotten to the place we where at. I read and read and read about A's, relationships, marriage etc. I tried to put myself in his shoes. Once I had a sense of where he was at, I wasn't mad at him for the pain he caused me. After all I believe I was 50% of the problem. Him sleeping with that person, it was like I was right beside him. M's are about being a team. I was someone he didn't want to be around. She was someone I use to be. So I can understand why it happened. Most people can't understand that.

Stubborn.... I really, really believe in the power of the mind!!!!!! I didn't allow ANY negative thoughts. I took every ounce that I had to think positive. I had it in my mind when he was coming home and what it would be like. I had boundries, and wouldn't be treated like a doormat

I held onto everything I could. Ever babystep.

AND I PRAYED TO GOD every chance I had.

I saved my marriage and so can you....Its all about positive thinking...