Just after posting that, H called and we had a great talk for 3/4 of an hour. I talked to him about drugs, using my brother as an excuse. H confessed to using them once or twice, but nothing in a long time. It makes me feel much better. I know that by him telling me stuff, my anxiety goes down. He also told me how much his helper and cousin owe him for money. So being that I was freaked out, I don't think I have a reason.

Tomarrow's goal is to thank him for the convo, and for making me feel better, and to ask for him to do that 2x a week when he's away as much as he has been. I'm also hoping to hear the "L" word some time this week. As I was hanging up, I said I love you, and he says, yup.... Not sure. Last weekend when he was saying goodbye and was hugging me, I told him I loved him, and he said it back. So I'm not sure if I threw him off by saying it or not. whatever.... can't sweat the small stuff. His actions speak Louder than words.

I'm so scared about the trust issue. Knowing he has had sex with someone else... which he claims they used protection, and then he sleeps with me and we didn't. I'm worried about STD. Although H says he would have seen something by now, I still worry. Talk about really being an uptight person huh?

I need to unwind somehow... And tips?

I saved my marriage and so can you....Its all about positive thinking...