Is it just me, or doesn't that statement ring odd?
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It rings odd presumably b/c you're not an extreme person. You see, my H once said to me even if I gave him 90% custody, I'd still be taking his kids away from him 10% of the time. You have to remember that H will not leave the kids to go to a movie or dinner with me. We are talking about a person who is as extreme as anyone I've ever met or even heard of. So, going back to knowing my arrangement to split the week in half with the kids was fair by all practical applications of the word, it is in the middle~not one extreme or the other and therfore out of the realm of anything he would agree to although I do think he recognizes it as a deal that the rest of society would view as fair.

Uh... is that a "yes"?

my H once said to me even if I gave him 90% custody, I'd still be taking his kids away from him 10% of the time.

Of course. He only sees how things impact on him, not on others. They cover that between the front and back covers of the emotionally abusive relationship book. from what I've read, it's quite a full description of that personality type, the only thing missing in the book is a picture of your husband. Sorry, couldn't help myself... hee hee.

He'll say, "Let's let *them* decide where they want to stay" and he'll have a cottage on the lake or something. Where do you think the kids would choose to stay???

Heather hun, since when do we let the children be the parents and make the decisions?

So, H is going to bring the topic up again tonight when he gets home. Should I just say "I will listen to what you have to say, but I've already stated how I feel on the issue. I'm staying with my parents and we'd all like it if you would too. Other than that, I don't have anything else to say, but I will gladly listen".

My gut feeling? It won't matter what you say, he's going to dance around anything you say unless it's in total agreement with him. I think it's entirely appropriate that you wish to spend that time with your folks and your children with them. If doing things as a family is important to hubby, then he ought to appreciate the importance of, and support, your doing things with your family, which includes your folks, your sis and your kids.

I'd say agree with the cottage idea, but I'm afraid he'll go the next step, which may be that once you're there, he starts preventing you from being with your family. So, how about a split down the middle where half the visit is with the folks, staying with them, revolving around activities with them, and then the other half involves the cottage, and when you do the cottage portion, that segment will mainly feature activities as a family. You agree to the cottage if he agrees to the family stay. I'd LOVE to hear hubby's response to that proposition.