Learning to Trust Myself

[heatherg]

Well it's nice to meet you B., sheesh, that will take some getting used to!!

I had a good weekend. Kids and I drove to northern VA to stay with H. I was sort of regretting I had said we would come up, but off we went anyway.
When we got there, H had a candle burning (something he quite obviously does for my benefit, I love candles). He had Mike's HL which is something I like to drink in the summertime.....don't ask, something about drinking out of a bottle (as opposed to a glass, like wine or a martini) on a hot day. You know that anniversary card I put in his bag that he never acknowledged? It was displayed on the bar next to the candle. He told me it was nice to have me there, nice to have my stuff laid out all over the bathroom counter. I was washing dishes later that night and he came up behind me with a hug and a small shoulder massage. He hasn't massaged my back in over a year.

So, what is up? Is this to get me to agree to a "cottage" when we go to Michigan? Rhetorical question, but gives you an idea of my thoughts on the subject. Guess we'll have to wait and see, but I will stay with my parents and so will the kids if he doesn't start a tug of war with them.

I don't know how I feel. Terrified for him to come back home, that much I am 100% sure of. He's talking about buying a new house, which is something I've wanted for years....but we don't even sleep in the same bed!! How do you buy a house with someone who won't share a bed with you?? Same way you have sex with someone who won't kiss you I guess