Heather, your future is yet ahead of you. There are so many twists and turns ahead and possibilities of wonderful things that it will surprise you when it happens.
I was first married at 26, divorced at 37. Had two kids with her. Had a few relationships after that, including an on again.off again 4 year relationship that I eventually ended, only to meet the gal who became my second W and great love of my life. Who'd thunk? So, what's ahead? A bigger, better, greater love? Future is not here yet, and totally unwritten. It ain't over till it's over.
Looking forward doesn't hold promise for me the way it used to. I have to stop running now, hurtling myself into the future and face the present, and look at my life as it is today with the man as he is today and the possibility that tomorrow that man will not be any different.
You know that personally I think that if your H doesn't see that he's the problem and makes himself right, that your life and your Self and your happiness is too precious to let him continue to squander and trash. It doesn't matter if you have children together or not. It's better for children not to live in that kind of environment anyway.
And I'm not nearly as free as I thought I would be, as he wields this great new power over me.
Take it back from him. Become stronger. Set and enforce boundaries. You're better than your circumstances, I can tell.
