Quote: what about modeling the proper behavior for S4 by using it with D2 and H. Just start doing it. "Good morning D2, how are you today?" "Good Morning Daddy, D2, tell Daddy good morning" You could even ask S4 to help you teach D2 how to do this. "S4, when D2 wakes up, I want you to tell her good morning and give her a big smile. This will help her learn good manners"
This is a good idea. Do you think maybe I have more influence than I feel like I do? Even if S4 is modeling H's behavior, do you think that I have some power to mitigate it by modeling good behavior myself?
Quote: You could say, "H, I think we need to work on S4's manners. What do you think we could do to get him to be more courteous?"
I've tried this. H stands by the idea that my son adores me and I am reading too much into his actions. H doesn't acknowledge that there is a problem with the way S4 treats me. It's too similar to the way H treats me and then he might have to see an issue with his own behavior and he wouldn't want to have to go there....
Quote: I agree that kids learn these behaviors early on, and that you do have time to turn him around.
I wonder sometimes if it's possible under the current circumstances though, without leaving......but then I run the risk that it would only get worse. S4 wears my H's shirt to bed every night and he has been carrying around a picture frame with a picture of him and his Daddy in it. He has told me before when H has gone on other trips that he wishes it was me on the trip and that Daddy was home. It is entirely possible that the dynamic between S4 and I is *completely* independent of my R with H. I don't know how to tell....
Quote: "Daddy lets me sleep in the chair at Grandma's house. Daddy loves me more than mommy. I just want to go to sleep and Mommy won't let me." "I want my Daddy, Mommy doesn't love me." Silly me, I put her in a bed, how was I to know she'd rather sleep in a chair?
Parenting is hard stuff. Single parenting deserves a medal of honor. You're doing a great job, making decisions that are best for yourself, your kids and your Dad. A couple nights sleeping in a chair and she will understand what "mommy knows best" means
"Happiness is a butterfly, which, when pursued, is always just beyond your grasp, but which, if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you."
