Learning to Trust Myself

[heatherg]

Hey Bud, I really appreciated you bareing so much of your soul in order to try to give me a better understanding of my H.

I guess for now I'm curious if you think you see what I mean about him not needing outside reassurance of his masculinity, but rather a more profound change within him that he accepts his masculinity without need for outside affirmation.

Yes, I think I understand. But it seems that it would depend on the reason for not feeling like a man. Maybe lack of self confidence, so maybe pointing out that OTHER people think he's great, which would honestly be hard to find an example of, would be a good way of bolstering the self confidence which in turn would make him feel better about himself and more manly???

But there's a critical spiritual leap he needs to make. Maybe it's called growing up.

I think you're right. Can I tell him that, lol???

Maybe that also means you have to scale back a little bit of what you want out of life

Or maybe just have faith that good things happen to those who......fill in the blank. Good returns good, I'm very humanistic. It's the basis for human interaction. I'm not religious, but you've still gotta have faith. My H doesn't have faith in anything or anyone except his children. I don't know what he's going to do when they get lives of their own. Right now, he actually identifies himself with them, not me. His manlihood is being what he thinks is a great father. I'm just an ornament.