Learning to Trust Myself

[Burgbud]

Wow. Your husband sounds an awful lot like me four months ago except maybe a little more extreme (I haven't locked anybody in a laundry room). Pretty childish and probably more insecure than we'd like to believe or ever let anybody know. Funny, if my W had just kissed somebody and then regretted it, instead of being ready to leave me and the kids and completely falling for Om, I'd probably have developed an overwrought sense of justice and shielded myself with that instead of figuring out I was living wrong and needed to change NOW.

I'd love to sit down with him and see if he could learn from my mistakes. I'm trying to figure out if there would have been any way I would have accepted help/advice from somebody who knew better back when I was 31 (or even when I was 36). I dunno. Maybe there's a way.

Also, you see him a lot like my wife saw/sees me, especially the part about not caring anything about her. I assure you that was only partially true. I didn't realize how much I cared about her and I didn't realize how much she needed to know I cared about her. I thought she should just know, and it was silly to expect anything more. So I doubt his real feelings toward you are as negative as you believe, but I don't doubt he doesn't know how important it is for him to make you believe he loves you and cares about you. He may even think it's stupid for it to be so important.

He's got a long way to go, just like I did. I hope he or you guys together figure out a way to get him there. If I come up with anything helpful, I'll let you know.

P.S. I absolutely would be willing to sit down and talk with him (or email or whatever). But I don't know if that would make things better or worse.