Learning to Trust Myself

[heatherg]

H and I had another pretty good weekend. Friday night we talked some after we got the kids in bed, reconnecting sort of stuff about what has gone on during the week, etc. That's the kind of thing we don't get enough of, so that was time well spent.
Saturday H suggested lunch at Macaroni Grill and we ran an errand, came home and put the kids down for a nap. Had sex. Evening, his sister came over with her two kids, we chatted, had a couple drinks and barbecued chicken. After kids were in bed H and I watched a movie together which is pretty common. But the rare part was that we sat together on the couch instead of me on the couch and him lying on the floor by the TV which has become the norm. Toward the end of the movie, he put his pillow up against me and layed his head down.
Today we had another good day for the most part, I won't keep boring you with all the details. There were a couple times today when I couldn't help but think to myself "and he has the nerve to call me selfish..."
One of those incidents was that we had a 12 year old kid mow the lawn and we gave him $40. But he did a pretty bad job. H continued to be irritated about it throughout the day. It was just annoying. I told H we wouldn't have him do it again, but he is only 12. We can make the decision not to call him again, but we can't make him do a good job. He was annoyed that he was going to have to get the lawn mower out and do the parts the kid had missed. And he needed to work out and he was tired.
Yesterday, he got a nap but I didn't because D2 wouldn't sleep. So I didn't feel all that guilty that I was going to get to nap today while he had "chores". But then he goes to work out and he blares his music. He came out to get some water and I told him I couldn't sleep with the music so loud and he got really snotty and said "oh, so you're nap should take precedence over me working out?" Jerk. Like I care if you work out or not....plus it's about the music not the workout. Whatever. Course I didn't say that.
Just made me remember that things aren't going to be as nice when we comes home as they are now.
Then the guy he works with stayed in northern VA where they are working instead of coming home this weekend, but he called H today and asked him if he would mind swinging by his FIL's house to pick up a bag of stuff he forgot last weekend. H didn't really hide the fact that he wasn't happy about being asked to do it but he agreed. Later, he said to me "I thought I did a pretty good job of creating a life for myself where I don't ask people for favors and they don't ask anything of me either"....geez, what a nice guy huh?? I said, "well, most people want friends and this is what being a friend is all about, being able to count on someone" he said "but I never will, I ask only my Dad every once in a while and only for stuff that's too big for me to do on my own..." . Ok, well good for you. So everybody else is a jerk who should know full well not to ask a favor from you. I think they all eventually get the picture, hence the reason we rarely get invites from anyone he knows, and the guy he worked with who once did give us invites can no longer stand H. What a mystery.....

But all in all, it was still a good weekend and things still look optimistic. I decided to get a card for our anniversay. It had a picture on the front of two bath towels hanging on a rack that said "HIS" and "HERS" and inside the card read "Even after all these years, hanging out with you is still my favorite thing to do." I signed it "Love, Heather" and stuck it in his bag. We'll see.