Well, you definitely sound like a fountain of clarity. Your post is very insightful and I've read your thread and you should be very proud of yourself. I don't know for sure how long you've been of a "DB mindset", but with so few posts it tells me perhaps not long. And you sound like you're in a really advanced starting place, so good for you!!
Quote: If you remove your reaction from that equation, he loses his power.
I'm working really hard on this. It's my number one personal goal, to control my reactions. Not just to H, but in general and especially to H. I wear a bracelet that is supposed to remind me of this. Similar to the rubber band theory, but it's prettier I believe that H always takes things too far, but I have my own contribution to the chaos. I don't want to be a contributor anymore. We'll see what happens as this is much easier said than applied.
Quote: If he accepts the card happily, his happiness is your victory. If he accepts it passively, the fact that he wasn't negative is your victory. If he throws it right in your face, your opportunity to remain calm and strong and show him that your happiness isn't his responsibility is your victory.
This is really, really excellent advice. To remain optimistic and view each outcome as a success as long as I stay true to my goals. Love that, thank you so much.
Please hang around here, you will get awesome support and advice and I can see that you will be a great help to others as well. Glad to meet you.
"Happiness is a butterfly, which, when pursued, is always just beyond your grasp, but which, if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you."
I believe that H always takes things too far, but I have my own contribution to the chaos. I don't want to be a contributor anymore. We'll see what happens as this is much easier said than applied. 