I'm far from a fountain of knowledge and I haven't read all your threads though I've skimmed them and read several posts. So please just consider this, absorb anything useful and throw the rest away.
It seems like at this point H isn't showing enough stability to enable you to have much in the way of expectations for his behavior. If you give him a non-mushy card but sign it "Love, Heather" he might appreciate it or he might throw it back in your face. Can you get into a frame of mind where you can deal with it either way? Maybe you've got to show him that you can/have GAL, and that his temper won't control your mindset, but that you still want him and the rest of your family in your life. He hasn't shown you much respect in the past with his name calling and outbursts, possibly because that's been an effective way to control you emotionally (a fact he may not be consciously aware of). If you remove your reaction from that equation, he loses his power. That seems good and necessary for both of you, but he may well feel threatened, especially if he's still feeling insecure because of what you did, or if he's just generally insecure. But in the end he'll be happier with you, himself, and your R if he sees that your happiness outside his ability to control, but that even in your indepdence, you want to be with him.
It may also be that he can't handle that at all and you'll end up having to walk away as best you can. But for now, handle the card the way you want to, and look at each of the likely scenarios as a win for you. If he accepts the card happily, his happiness is your victory. If he accepts it passively, the fact that he wasn't negative is your victory. If he throws it right in your face, your opportunity to remain calm and strong and show him that your happiness isn't his responsibility is your victory.
Good luck!
Stop WaitingFeel EverythingLove AchinglyGive ImpeccablyLet Go
