UTIs Interferring with SL and other issues

[SP1]

Hi All - My main post is in MLC but I thought this belonged over here.

I have successfully managed my re-current UTIs (holding breath!) but they do interfere with SL. I feel like I have to rush away to the bathroom afterwards and my H seems to take it personally (he is still somewhat depressed/mlc). I have to be real careful how I phase things or he twists it to be about or something wrong with him. Has anyone dealt with UTIs interferring in SL? I also feel like I have to plan things more (drink water before, have a water bottle by the bed side for after, etc.). I don't feel as adventurous anymore; like this has put a damper on our SL.

One other side issue is that during his mlc he shaved his private parts area. This causes discomfort for me (prickly, sore, etc.). I have tried to gently say that this bothers me physically but he takes it personally. Now, he only shaved the bottom area but it still interferes with S for me. How can I gently tell him to quit shaving down there!!! Sorry if this is too blunt but I don't know how else to say all of this

I hope someone has ideas or experience with these issues!

Thanks,
SP

[LostGal]

Compromise...give him a gift certificate for electrolisis[sp]. He can go "hairless" without stubble.

If you live in an area where it is exceptionally hot and chaffe happens often (one of the reasons for denuding the bottoms, male and female) try scissoring to about 1/2 inch for softness and using either baking soda or desitin, yes the little kid diaper rash cure not the atheletes foot stuff.

[honeypot]

I have recurring UTI's but they do not interfere all that much with my SL.

I get up afterwards, right away, and use the bathroom. I drink plenty of water, though I do not have to drink it in the middle of the night, as you stated.

I'm not sure where the feeling of "losing adventure" is coming from, though. I feel just as adventurous but the fact is that I have to do a little prep work before and after. It doesn't feel like a big deal to me, cause afterwards we immediately get in bed and snuggle up together. So yeah the momentum is broken but not lost, kwim?

Try to shake off the bad feelings that this causes and just go with the flow. It is not the flow that you've known and loved for most of your life, probably, but it's not too bad either.

As far as your H is concerned I would just employ honesty--"H, I get UTI's if I do not jump up right away. I wish I could stay here with you, but that would give me an infection and then I'd be outta commission tomorrow night--we can't have that!" or something lighthearted like that. If you want, you could email him an article about UTI's and how common they are. Perhaps that would help him see that it's not you wanting to "wash" him off of you pronto.

The shaving....I gotta ask....what positions are you using that him being shaved is irritating you? I tried to imagine and I couldn't, lol.

I would let that drop right now if there are other issues in your marriage. You can bring it up later when things are better.

Gotta run; I am evidently the referee in Kid Wars today. BIG sigh!

[SP1]

Hi Lost Gal -

Thanks for your suggestions! I don't think my H would go to that length though with the electro. He is somewhat stubborn and has the "I can do whatever I want with MY body" mlc attitude right now so I have to maneuver carefully with him.

I think mentioning the soreness from the stubble and how it might decrease frequency would maybe help. He did stop shaving a while ago when things were going more normally. He almost uses this as a test to see if I notice or something...

Thanks again,
SP

[SP1]

Hi Honeypot -

I guess I am dealing with a over sensitive H at the moment because when I have to get up and go to the bathroom afterwards he will leave and act like I ended the session. He knows about the UTIs but still thinks it's him and like you said I am cleaning him off of me. I told him this morning that I am prone to UTIs and it's just something I have to do and he still acted like it wasn't true.

Oh, the shaving is the bottom of his private parts not his bottom. I may have worded that incorrectly

You are right, I do not want to focus too much on the shaving as he still somewhat in mlc mode but I hope when he is back to "normal" I can bring it up.

Thanks honeypot!
SP

[honeypot]

Has it always been this way, or is it something new?

If it's new, I can see how he'd be bent outta shape about it.

Mine happened after the birth of my 9 lb daughter, 3 years ago. All of a sudden, nothing worked right anymore. I hadn't learned about the pee-sex-pee thing and ended up going to the doctor for antibiotics all the time. Well that had to GO, kwim.

Good luck to you and I would play it off as lighthearted as you can...Gee I'm not just the same anymore. Etc.

Also, ARE you washing him off of you?

I don't do that, cause I'm a sicko and like it , but I would not try to fib your way past that. If you are doing that, I would own up to it and not make a huge deal of it. Also, none of this 10 minute washing afterwards! If you're gonna do it, do it quickly and get back in bed with him. Otherwise, that's a pretty strong mood killer.

Ok, that's my advice and as Hairdog says, it's worth every penny you paid for it.

[OG_Lou]

SP1 my W's/BB UTI have almost stopped our SL. I have been trying th help BB reduce them but it has taken 3 months for her to do much about them. I bought and read 2 books and have searched the internet (medical pages, not some pill pushers) for the last 3 months, 50+ articles. I will post the long version I found if you would like me to.

About 85% of UTI are from E coli from the stool that does not get washed off when you have a BM. Just walking around some of the E. Coli rubs on your underwear and works it's way from the back to the front. Same thing happens to men. Passing gas can expel and spread E.Coli too. Men and women should wash after every BM or when they have lots of gas.

About getting your H more in tune with your UTI's get him to go along to the Dr. when you go and let him pay the bill for the visit and meds every other time you get a UTI. Hopefully that will get him to consider how much you have to go through when a UTI hits you. When I wrote the check for BB's UTI's ($70 office visit insurance with $20 co-pay and $23 to $36 for pills)I almost said it would be cheaper to visit a hooker. I kept my mouth shut.

So far HP has the short solution. Pee, sex, pee. A little longer one is pee, wash anal area with mild soap, rinse back and front, sex, pee, rinse front area with a shower head on a hose. It does not take long. Then go back to bed and cuddle.

I have to service 3 customers so have to quit posting for now.

Lou

[SP1]

Hi Honeypot - No, it hasn't always been this way. It was about a year ago that I started to get UTIs so I guess I just need to get used to and continue with my preps and try to enjoy S. The washing is one thing that helped to stop the UTIs. I never did this before but now I feel I have to in order to prevent the UTIs. So my H feels dirty like I am washing him off Yes, I do try to do it quickly but if I do it too fast I get a UTI. I have to rinse with soap and warm water. I just think my H is in a sensitive mlc-depressed mode and takes everything personally. I will continue to gently explain the UTIs...Better go grab some water now - ha!

[SP1]

Hi Lou -

I'm sorry you have to deal with BBs UTIs and also find the solution for her. Yes, if you could post the info, that would be great.

I take an acidophilus (sp) supplement and drink more water, water before S, pee before S, pee after S, soap and rinse after S, more water...My problem is my Hs reaction and taking it personally. I keep him in the loop when I get them and he's aware of the costs, etc. but he tends to minimize the problem - like it's no big deal. Well, unless you've had a UTI before you may think that but I have had some very, very painful ones...ugh! Anyway, I think I will just have to gently nudge him so he believes that I am prone to them and that I need to do these pre-post S prevention techniques.

Have any solutions worked for BB? I hope she is open to trying them.

Take Care,
SP

[Lillieperl]

If your H is a good sport, how about both of you get in the shower after ML?