You're right re the porn. It may do her well. That is her business. It was very odd, tho, for S5 to mention it. Maybe little kids are talking at his summer camps?
The instability I see in W is alarming me - not as much regarding her parenting, but in regards to potential relocation. In this rather fullblown adolescent "Replay" stage of MLC, it is possible for her to do things I would have thought unimaginable, like give up a very rare academic job to go party with friends. I've seen it happen before once with a colleague - a women in her 30s leaving a M, by the way.
Unfortunately, that would mean S5 goes along for the ride, and is taken away from me, straining my R with him. I am very egalitarian when it comes to a woman's rights and in terms of motherhood. But I have learned to stand up for my rights and to defend the importance of fathers' roles in their children's lives, as well.
My documentation would focus on my fathering. To prove how well I am present and contributing to S5's life, and how it would be a significant loss for him if they moved long-distance. Her actions, recent and past, as well as those of her parents, place my role as father very low in value, and it is actually wise to prepare for yet another self-focused move on her part. In the US, it carries more weight to have dated, detailed transcriptions of activities/events then mere mass-listings of dates with little detail to show that I am an invested father.
I'm not sure how she'd ever find out about such documentation, but if she did, and did become defensive about my keeping record of myself, that would be her issue, not mine. As she has called me a "deadbeat dad" and "near-absent" father in the past 4 weeks - this after he spent 16 straight days/nights with me, routinely taking him extra nights, and after I've paid her more CS than I'm ordered to every month since our S, I clearly have seen that she is not invulnerable to re-writing history to serve whatever purpose she deems fit. Perhaps even for my own sanity, it helps to see record of a different reality that depicts my true actions and love for S5.
