Keep the faith my friend. You may not have realized it yet, but by coming here and taking many of the steps you have done already, you are well on the road to recovery and miles ahead of others in similar straits.
I wouldn't beat myself up too much on the snooping, in fact, I still do it. To me, the snooping is worst when we have expectations and we poison our own minds by learning things we hoped were not true. At the same time, I also find, somewhat oddly, that once we move along in GAL, snooping often provides info that keep propelling us forward in that it often demolishes any latent notions in our hearts and minds that we can still turn this around on our own IF ONLY [fill in the blank]. There are no no IFs, just GAL. Also, as hurtful (as well as insightful) as W's journal can be, did you sometimes wonder when reading it what planet she was on?
I also think taking a break from the BB is a good thing for clearing our minds unless we're at some mew stage and want to share/learn what others have experienced. Also, each of us has our own needs and how much BB you can take by either reading or posting is up to each of us. I find more and more I just want to check and see how everone is doing. We've opened our lives to complete strangers, but I'll bet many of us feel we've gotten back a lot more than we've given (btw, isn't that God's plan?). It's nice to know our friends are doing well and if not, to provide comfort if they need it.
I don't know where you are in Florida, but I may be in the Sarasota area this winter. Maybe we can meet. I know I have to meet Briget--and if she'd like, I can make my tummy into a much more comfortable pillow than her Paul.
